When My Children Are Grown…

I saw this on a website this morning and it struck so true with me that I wanted to share it…

“I hope my children look back on today,
and see a mother who had time to play.
There will be years for cleaning and cooking,
For children grow up while we’re not looking.”

My challenge is to relax and let things go, because they certainly will not be little forever and when that time is gone, it is lost forever. Enjoy them today ~ nothing else is important.

The beautiful outdoors…

We got some great photos of God’s beautiful handiwork this summer and fall… Here are a few of our favorites…

    How beautiful… Sunset in the mountains…

     Cades Cove

     The Little Pigeon River

Feelings of…

Lately with all the changes that have occurred in our family life and having to make changes in all of our routines, I have been feeling so overwhelmed, out of control, depressed, and just plain tired. All of which, make my body’s ability to function with my auto-immune issues and chronic pain from the fibro and arthritis that much more difficult.
It’s hard to find words to say how I feel and it’s even harder to find an answer to the feelings and how to “fix”it… I have always struggled with the need to “have routine” and “clarity” in our family structure. And change (especially when unexpected) doesn’t come easy for me.

“I pray that God gives me strength to adapt and make the necessary changes, to overcome feelings that I shouldn’t have, and that kindness, compassion, and love would be what my heart feels instead of the stress and worry that have been with me the last several weeks.”

I was reading my bible and I read this particular verse over and over. It’s words ringing true to what I know has to be done and how I should deal with everything now.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
                                                                         ~ Colossians 3:12
Sometimes, I think it is just selfish of me to not want changes to occur, even when I know they are for the good and will only in the end enrich my children’s lives in so many ways. I just need clarity and reassurance that “I“ can deal with things and handle all that is happening so quickly. And there again, the “me” factor sinks in and I start feeling the feeling of doubt and fear of what is next to come.
I know that thru it all that God has a plan. I know that he is in control at all times. I know that he has all the answers. And that I only have to turn to him for help. But sometimes, that is so much easier to think than to actually do. So many times, it seems, I struggle with just asking for help. That is where I find the wall. The wall that keeps me tied up with those feelings of depression, insecurity, doubt, and fear. All feelings that make it so difficult to adapt and handle change effectively. 
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
                                                                                                    ~Galatians 6:2
I see tiny little sparkles of beauty everyday in the midst of all that is going on. I pray that God will allow me to continue to grow with compassion and grace. And continue to bless me in the midst with seeing the beauty of my children grow in compassion.

Spring photos…

Couldn’t resist snapping some pictures with some beautiful gardens on a beautiful day! God is good and his beautiful creation is ours to enjoy!

Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth

                                                                    ~ Psalm 50:2

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.

                                                                                                     ~ Isaiah 40:8

Have a blessed day!!

Fix-A-Word

My friend Michelle loaned me a board game called “FIX-A-Word” to use with the kids… It’s a board game with 5 different ways to play, using a spinner and “prefix and suffix” cards.

The kids loved playing it today.

Sad thing is they liked it so much, when I looked online to see if I could find one ~ there was no one like it for sale… So, I’ll have to keep my eyes open to eBay and such ~ If you see one tell me!! 

Have a great day!!

Growth and change...

I saw this posted by a friend the other day and it couldn't have come at a better time...

Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown ~


Through faith, all things are possible.

Relationships, friendships, fellowships…

I’ve been doing some bible studies lately that have had me really thinking about relationships. My relationship with God, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my children, my relationship with my family, and my relationship with friends.
  
“When we consider the blessings of God—the gifts that add beauty and joy to our lives, that enable us to keep going through stretches of boredom and even suffering ~ friendship is very near the top."   —Donald W. McCullough, Mastering Personal Growth

In trying to deepen the relationship that I have with my holy father, I have been having to take a look and reassess things in all other aspects of my life. Am I truly being obedient to him? Am I truly doing what he has called me to do? And am I truly being the person he has called me to be?

There are so many things about myself that I know needs work ~ am I doing all that I need to do and all that he is asking me to? One thing that I keep coming to is “FRIENDSHIP”.. Am I being the kind of friend that others deserve? Am I fulfilling the duty of a friend and being the support that others need?

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need ~
Proverbs 17:17

I try and follow the motto of “to have a friend, you have to be a friend”. Sometimes this is easier said than done. I hope that I have learned the true value of friendship, and have every intention of being a good friend to others and show genuine love and concern. But I can’t be a friend to someone who does not want to be a friend with me.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. ~  Proverbs 18:24

A lot of  relationships that I have once thought of as “friendships” have been and are in reality only “acquaintances ”.  And to nourish a relationship with God, a  true “friendship” with like minded Christian friends must also be found and maintained.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ~ John 15:12-15

Christian fellowship, (being with and interacting with other Christians), is often confused with deeper friendship. We all need  deeper friends to share our problems and desires with. but “Fellowship”, is often not enough. Churches need to breed an atmosphere that encourages and allows deeper friendship. As a church seeks to be truly unified in attitude and purpose, the church social activities can bring the opportunity for those needing friends. Such activities can also bring more unity within the fellowship of the church which makes praying for others and sharing with others easier because of a genuine care, concern, and love for others that only comes from sincere friendship.

“True friendship”, the type that encourages Christian spiritual growth and human fulfilment,  and allows all people concerned to be “free” to “be themselves”. With true friends, the confidence to be “accepted as we are”, is always there. To me this doesn’t mean that we will share every deep personal concern or problem, but to have a trust that you have some special friends ~ that you know well enough ~ that you can share everything with them, is truly an ordination and gift from God. I have learned that in some areas of life and opinions, I am different  from others in my outlook and I have learned that it is better to keep silent on certain subjects. Nevertheless, I hope to be recognized and respected by that person as the valuable individual that God has made me to be. And I hope to continue to grow and mature in my relationship with God and to nourish and treasure my friendships here on earth…

God Bless ~

The Heart of a Child…

Oh, how I wish I had the heart of a child ~ a soft heart of freedom…able to freely love, freely give and freely forgive.
The ability to be unselfish with what they have and the desire to please.
To be resilient in the face of adversity and to not hold on to the bitterness of pain.
To have a unfailing faith in the unknown that is pure and strong.
A child has the freedom to smile, cry, laugh, and dance when the desire arises.
Oh, how I wish I had the heart of a child….

The Power of Motherhood…

I’ve been reading a book called the “Power of Motherhood”…
It’s a wonderful book that is truly about the wonderful, blessed life of motherhood… it has truly helped me see that what I do is a blessing not only to my family, but to me from God.
The most important ideas to me from this book so far has been that “nurturing” I the most important job that God could give me and that I need to “feed” the lives and souls of my children daily with warm words, touch, and affirmations. How my attitude and the atmosphere in our home affects my children’s minds and eventually their futures. And how to “JOYFULLY” embrace motherhood, which is something I need to work on ~ especially on those days when I think I can’t take another minute of the noise or one more argument over toys.
I pray that God will give me the wisdom and guidance I need and help me in the areas of motherhood that I struggle with ~ patience, temperance, and lifting my children up as they should be.

Thoughts for Thursday...

A great quote from Jim Daly (Focus on the Family) ~

"Here is your charge. Here is your challenge. Your kids have plenty of friends, maybe too many. But only two people in the world can really be their parents. Step up. Be parents today and the friendship with your children - a real friendship - will grow into adulthood and likely last throughout your lives."

Something I'm thinking about on this rainy Thursday...

My Word for the Year...

Yes, I know what you're thinking ~ it's almost the end of February and I am just now getting to this. Well, it's not that easy.. I know fining a "word" that describes what you want, how you feel, or what you strive to be, may be easy for some ~ but I have a hard time putting all those things into one word. So I have take my time trying to pray and strive for the right one.

I have always had tons of resolutions for every New Year ~ some I was able to achieve and others that were just not possible and really pipe dreams... But I needed to hear God's choice of word's for me...

So for my word ~ I took my time, prayed, thought a lot about it and came to the conlusion that my word is "CONTENT"...

I strive to be content, satisfied in whatever circumstance should come my way, able to be happy with what is in my life... Gratified to have one more day, peace of mind, the ease to experience what is God's plan for my life...

"CONTENT" ~ my word for the year...

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Phillippians 4:11

31 Days of Prayer..

I have been participating in the "31 Days of Praying for Your Children"....

I did this sometime ago with a prayer calendar from ParentLife Magazine. This time we are using this prayer calendar as our guide...

The goal of praying for our children is that, whether a mom or dad, we as parents can make a huge impact on our children's lives by interceding for them daily in prayer. They are faced with so much temptation and we as parents can help fight spiritual warfare for them by lifting them up daily in prayer.

Today is Day 9 and our prayer today was:

Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone as Your Word commands. (1 Peter 2:17a)

Being respectful of everyone is something that I think is lacking in our society today and I'm not sure what the root of it is.

Disrespect and intolerance is everywhere ~ in our families, our churches, our workplace, our world. I wish that we could take just a moment and earnestly seek where all the discontentment, unhappiness, and hostility towards others comes from~

My wish and prayer today is that I can be an example for my kids and that they will grow up to love, pray for, and serve others with respect and kindness. Every time I think about respect for others I think of another Proverbs verse ~ (yes, it's one of my favorite books in the bible)

Proverbs 11:16
A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.

If you would like to participate ~ feel free to look it up on Facebook or click on one of the links above for a calendar guide.

Working at saying "NO"...

Why is it one of the smallest words in the English Language is one of the hardest to say?

I have a horrible time saying "NO" ~ not only to other people, my kids, my family, but to myself.

I have been doing lots of praying and thinking and more praying on how to take better care of myself and my family and the one thing that my rheumatologist, my chiropractor, my friends, and most of all, my husband, all share and tell me often is that I need to slow down, rest, and learn to say "NO".

I have always had that desire to please and be with others, but sometimes, we have to look deeper than in what we think are our desires and find what is truly in our hearts... I sat down and made a list of what I felt I needed from life and what truly made me happy.

The needs list was really small when I compared it to the happy list... I also made a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish...the most important of these to me was to raise secure children in a love-filled, happy home with a desire to serve the Lord in whatever capacity that "HE" would lead them to.  Another of these goals was to do volunteer work that I felt he was leading me to do. This is a tough one for me,  as sometimes what he is calling me to do, is not what I may want to do, nor what others think I should be doing. But if my mighty Father tells me, I must follow. This is one of the pitfalls of society and our support systems of friends, family, and our spiritual homes.

I have been working on cutting things out of our schedule and it has been hard, because I have always been a on-the-go kind of person and have that nagging, little, evil voice in the back of my head that every so often says, "but what about socialization?" or "do your kids get to do anything?"... and I love hearing the "you should do (this)".

But,  so far, I have eliminated several commitments that took way too much of my time from home and I am working on more. With the kids and my hubby in agreement, we are knocking things off the list right and left. I just ask that it be with God's wisdom that we remove things and not our choice...

I want to be able to use the time when I feel good to be with my family, do family things, and to volunteer for several projects that have weighed heavily on my heart for sometime. I have been praying in earnest that God would show me the way I needed to walk and help me with saying "NO" to things that would wear me down, keep me away from family time, or just general business that wasn't what I needed to be doing.

I come back to this verse again and again when I am faltering in my quest at slowing down and saying "no" ... it gives me strength, peace, and assures me that if I ask he will show me the way.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And he shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5

Dealing with Depression...

For the last couple of years (since being diagnosed with arthritis and an autoimmune disease) I find that I often feel overwhelmed with all the activities and responcibilities that go along with all that I do... I often feel an intense sadness that I can't explain and don't know how to fix... Sometimes I relate this sadness to what is going on in my life ~ but I honestly can say that my life is very blessed and I really have nothing to be sad over... But these feelings continue to come and I have noticed they have increased in frequency and severity... I find there are mornings I don't want to even get out of bed ~ not because I feel bad or am hurting (even though I have many mornings like that) but because I just don't want to face the day...

This morning I woke up with just a feeling of "STRESS and SADNESS" ... not sure why or where it came from... and I know that everyone has these feeling at sometime or another in their lives ~ but with the increase in frequency and severity, it is becoming more difficult for me to deal with...

And I know that this is probably not the arena to discuss this ~ but I am sure I am not the only one that has these feelings and I am sure that I am not the only one who has wondered how to fix it...And sometimes just getting my feelings out, make me not feel better, but like I am able to let it go... Vent my frustrations, if you will...

Finding time to rest and take care of myself and my health has been difficult, because I have always had a problem saying "NO" ... I have always worried what others thought about what I was doing and thinking (that maybe I wasn't pulling my weight or doing my part)...and I have always worried about how my decisions impact others around me...  I have prayed for guidance on alot of decisions that I know I have to make and thoughts about how to deal with others reactions to these decisions...and I have earnestly been praying for a solution to my feelings and what I am sure could be called "depression" or as my rheumatologist has said before "chemical imbalances related to medications" ... Now I know he probably doesn't realize how much of an impact that it is making not only on my life, but on the lives of my children and my husband...

This morning as I was having my quiet time (and trying to psyche myself into getting up and going this morning) ~ I heard DD playing her "SEEDS of COURAGE" CD upstairs in her room... and I thought about the verse that particular song was based on... It truly gave meaning to my prayers and was like an answer to what I was feeling this morning...  

Psalm 62:1-2

" My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. "

Now thinking and praying over this verse didn't make me ache less nor did it decrease my joint swelling ~ but it did help me to realize that I am on the right path and I have to put my faith in him and that he will get me through all that I am asking him to help with... Through faith, and faith alone will all things be made better ~ he is my rock, I cannot be shaken...

Slowing down the pace...

Sailing away to a deserted island... How many times do we as mothers, wifes, teachers, and Christians wish that we could just sail away to an unknown place ~ away from the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. Where we could find peace, tranquility, and  QUIET?

How many times have we overbooked our weeks, planned too many field trips, over-commited to our church activities? All because, not only did we want too ~ but we felt like we SHOULD do it...

I do it all the time and decided this year my resolution would be ~ to slow down our lives and commit to more family time and lead them in the way God has called me too... I have been making progress, but I have also back slid many times. But this morning in my bible study there was a verse that popped out and spoke just to me...

"You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath." Psalm 39:5

And I thought if we're moving through life too quickly, we would do well to slow down and take time for God and to appreciate the blessings before us. I forget that so many times that I think my kids need to do this or be here or I need to help with this or that.  And I forget to stop, rest, and take time to give thanks to God for the blessings he has given us ~ not to ask for more but to really appreciate all that we have on this beautiful earth.

I recently read an article from an old issue of a mother's magazine awhile back and it really struck a chord with me , in that it spoke of ministering to our own families.. It talked about how active people are in the church today and that it's wonderful ~ but that alot of families become so absorbed in the church that their personal family becomes lost. I want to minister and be who I need to be for GOD's GLORY ~ but be what he has called me to be first and that is a wife, mother, and teacher. I pray for guidance in this and I know that he will lead me in the way that I need to go.  And I know that I am on the other side of the fence in this with most Christians ~ but how can we minister to others when our own families are being lost in the shuffle...

So I am gonna continue weeding out activities and spending more time at home with my blessings and taking more time to be with God in prayer and in thanks for all he has given me.
Life is short and we won't be here forever and yes, we must make the most of it ~ but in that process, take time to remember it too...

The Ugly Duckling...

Took the kids to see a play of the "Ugly Duckling" yesterday... It was a take on the original by Hans Christian Anderson and it was funny but so true...

The main theme was that it's hard being different. A strange egg showed up in Mama Duck’s nest and hatched and a very ugly duckling was born. After many failed attempts to "fit in," the ugly duckling set out on a journey to find his true place in the world. He ended up coming to the realizization that he has to love himself before he can find out who he really is.

This rang so true for me and I think it got across to my kid;ets ~ that true beauty and happiness comes not from anyone else but from yourself and inside you.  This is one of the most important lessons I want my kidlets to learn that they have to love themselves and find happiness in "WHO THEY ARE"... So often in our society/culture happiness and beauty is thought to be on the outside or what you own or possess... I don't want that for my kids ~ I want them to know true joy and happiness that can be bought or manufactured...

This morning for our devotions,  we discussed what we had learned from the play and looked at these verses ....

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."   1 Peter 3: 3 -4

"I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12

"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. "  Ecclesiastes 7:14

 and my favorite verse of all Phillipians 4: 11, where the main idea was to be CONTENT ~  " for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances."

 There is a great study guide that can be found to go along with reading the "UGLY DUCKLING" and you can get it FREE here...

Living with Chronic Pain...

 

This winter the cold weather has really affected my body. I have had increased episodes of pain and immobility. I have noticed an increase in the intensity of the pain and discomfort. This morning I had trouble getting out of bed and even more trouble with dressing. I am sure if someone could have seen me it would have been quite comical. But I thought, why not sit down and write about sentences about how I was feeling as a way to cope this morning, instead of just crying. So here goes my thoughts:

I have Fibromyalgia and Arthritis.

The fibromyalgia diagnosis process can be frustrating. Fibromyalgia can't be easily confirmed or ruled out through a simple laboratory test. Your doctor can't detect it in your blood or see it on an X-ray. Instead, fibromyalgia appears to be linked to changes in the way the brain processes pain signals.

The American College of Rheumatology (ACR) guidelines for diagnosing fibromyalgia require widespread pain throughout your body for at least three months. "Widespread" is defined as pain on both sides of your body, as well as above and below your waist.

 But fibromyalgia can mimic or even overlap many other conditions. So  they testing for other conditions — such as lupus, multiple sclerosis, rhuematoid arthritis, and sleep apnea. It took a year of testing, doctor's visits, and patience before I was diagnosed. Yet, I have FM friends who have struggled for years before they were diagnosed.

I have severe muscle aches and joint pains a large majority of the time.

My eyesight has been affected with blurriness that comes and goes.

I get discouraged when I miss out on the fun things.

I have a wonderful husband who only wants to make things better.

I have 2 great children who understand that somedays mommy doesn't feel well.

I have 2 great childen who help with the housework and offer to get me things to keep me from having to do it on days when I am sick.  

I have periods of depression when I think no one can understand my pain.

I  have "fibro-fog" and constantly forget the simplest things to remember. 

I can know what I want but have trouble expressing it ~ yet again an effect of the "fibro-fog".

I am active with my children and push myself to do everything possible.

Due to a change and increased sensitivity to smells, I sometimes have trouble cooking my favorite foods.

I exercise and I research my diseases so that I can keep up with what's available out there for relief and treatment.  

I sometimes (especially when I have trouble getting out of bed) think  that it's all in my head.

I am only 40, yet some days, I move like I am 80.

I take medication that affects my memory, my senses, and my life.

I worry that so little is known ~ about how it starts and why~

I worry that my children will suffer with the same pain, discomfort, and at times immobility.

I get very little sleep as my neurons are always ready to fire.   

I have lots of doctors appts., chiropractor visits, and bills.

I know my rhematologists office number as well as my own phone number.

I wish others understood that the pain I feel is different from any other pain I have felt.

My challenges have caused me to have a closer relationship with my great God.

I have Fibromyalgia and Arthritis ~  I am learning every day to live with it and be thankful.

Thankful for.....

A messy kitchen that has produced goodies with love...

 The internet (where I can find all the recipes I would ever want to attempt)

A dishwasher

 An oven that works (when so much of the world still has little modern conveniences)

money to buy groceries to feed my children

hot chocolate (a true pleasure and delight)

 My Children (wearing PJ's and with uncombed hair)

My husband (my companion, my friend, my better half,  the one who keeps me glued)

Gracious and good friends

Things great and small...So much to be thankful for...

A Beautiful Autumn Afternoon....

Just enjoyed spending the afternoon with the kidlets, walking along the lakeside, admiring the beauty of God's handiwork... Truly the two things I am most thankful ~ my salvation from my great creator and the love  and forgiveness I have in my family!!  Even on days when I am unforgiveable, my children never see it and always give me unconditional love and forgiveness... I am so thankful that I have that in them... and so thankful that my father above forgives me in the same way...

Thursday Thoughts...